Ich nahm gwyneth paltrows healthy living advice für eine woche

She isn't the most pop-culture-savvy 19-year-old, but even for her, "vagina steaming" is synonymous with the name Gwyneth. Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow touted its alleged restorative benefits on her lifestyle website, goop, and was widely ridiculed for suggesting women should spend 50 bucks to blow hot steam on their lady parts. This wasn't the first (or last) time the actress and lifestyle guru's advice was subject to scrutiny. She's known for her hybrid vegan, gluten-free, macrobiotic diet, she indulges in many holistic healing and detoxifying treatments that fall into a scientific gray area, and she frequently recommends outrageously expensive products (think $185 bobby pins and $45 socks). But skepticism from science experts and fans hasn't stopped the star.

Her 2013 cookbook, It's All Good ($20; amazon.com)Â was a New York Times Best Seller, and her follow-up, It's All Easy: Delicious Weekday Recipes for the Super-Busy Home Cook ($20; amazon.com) comes out April 12. She also recently released a much-ballyhooed organic skin and beauty line with Juice Beauty. And the goop brand, as far as anyone can tell, is thriving. So as polarizing as Paltrow's lavish, all-natural, spa-heavy lifestyle may be, a lot of people are taking her advice to heart and for a week, I did too. (No, this is not a tale of getting my you-know-what steamed that's actually one of the 5 Things You Definitely Should Not Be Doing to Your Vagina.) I walked away with hydrated skin, an offensively expensive grocery bill, a slightly tighter tush, the stomach flu, and the urge to mail Paltrow a handwritten apology letter. Here's why I semi-loved the Paltrow life, for better or worse. First step to channeling Gwyneth: meal prep which I knew would be a huge challenge, because I'm pretty clueless in the kitchen and I rarely craft meals that take longer than 15 to 20 minutes. I decided to roughly follow the 2016 goop Detox as a jumping off point. I switched out certain recipes and relied on leftovers to save myself time and money, and I also adjusted for personal pickiness (curry, yuck) with alternative dishes from goop or It's All Good.

  My boyfriend helped me with grocery shopping at Whole Foods. Several embarrassing Google searches later Is Himalayan sea salt the same as regular salt? What does miso look like? Where can you buy Moon Juice? we emerged $146 poorer, sans Moon Juice. When we got home, I put him to work on the salmon burgers, which required skinning the fish and putting it in the blender. I opted to keep my hands fish-gut-free and bake instead.

I took a stab at these zucchini and carrot muffins, made primarily from gluten-free baking mix and applesauce.

The end result: dinner was divine. The salmon burgers were filling and flavorful, and the side salad crunchy and light. And with an extra few teaspoons of cinnamon, the zucchini bites were...edible. To wrap up the evening, I drew myself a hot bath. I hate baths; I overheat quickly and see no value in pruning in my own filth.

But Paltrow takes one every night with Epsom salts. (On the plus side, it's a Health-approved move; a soothing bath is a known stress-reliever.) The 6 minutes I lasted weren't awful, to my surprise. Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with avocado on Ezekiel breadLunch: Grilled chicken with steamed bok choyDinner: Five-spice salmon burgers with Asian detox salad Paltrow enthüllt auf Goop, dass ihr Neujahrsvorsatz ist, mehr zu meditieren. Ich wachte ein paar Minuten früher als sonst auf, um es selbst auszuprobieren. Ich hatte keine großen Hoffnungen, dass ich Zen finden würde; Ich werde schnell nervös, und ich bin nicht gut darin, nervöse Gedanken loszulassen. Aber es war immer noch einen Versuch wert: Achtsamkeitsmeditation wurde mit der Senkung des Blutdrucks, der Linderung von Angstzuständen und sogar der Unterstützung der Verdauung in Verbindung gebracht.

Mein Kollege empfahl das Meditationsstudio von Gaiam App, das ein 5-Minuten-Training für Anfänger bietet. Es brauchte einige große Konzentration, um diese 300 Sekunden zu überstehen. Das Frühstück rief zu GP's Morgen "Smoothie". Die Anführungszeichen sollten warnend genug gewesen sein, dass Gwyneths Version eines Smoothies nichts wäre wie die fruchtigen, frostigen, die die meisten von uns genießen. Ich überflog das Rezept mit Entsetzen: es forderte mehrere Zutaten, von denen ich noch nie gehört hatte, einschließlich Vanillepilz-Proteinpulver, Cordyceps (?) Und Sexstaub (?!). Und dann wurde mir klar, was Moon Juice ist: Es ist ein Unternehmen, das organische Säfte, Milch und Snacks sowie Nahrungsergänzungsmittel und verschiedene "Stäube" verkauft, die in kalte oder heiße Flüssigkeiten gemischt werden sollen. Die Produkte von Moon Juice werden im Goop-Shop und auf moonjuiceshop.com verkauft.

Ich gab eine Bestellung für jedes der winzigen, teuren Gläser, die für dieses Rezept benötigt wurden, und ließ den Chia-Pudding stattdessen in der Entgiftung zum Frühstück empfehlen. Zuerst sah die Mischung glitschig und grau aus. Die Realität? Es war so lecker und Nachtisch, dass ich aufgeregt ins Bett ging, um es wieder zu machen. "TRACY ANDERSON" flashed on my cellphone screen when my alarm went off at 6. I dragged myself out of bed, heated up a cup water, stirred in fennel, coriander, and cumin seeds, then booted up my laptop while my beverage cooled. Normally I hate tea I think it tastes like warm, dirty pond water. But this DIY breakfast beverage was mild enough that the flavor didn't bother me at all. In fact, it was energizing.

But it didn't top the energy I had after doing a Tracy Anderson workout from the comfort of my studio apartment. I pulled ankle weights from my drawer of workout gadgets and streamed the online master class. Now I really felt like a badass it was only 7 a.m. and I had hot tea, a workout, and soon enough, GP's morning "smoothie" already checked off my to-do list. Yep, the Moon Juice holistic supplements had arrived. The smoothie on the website appeared light and creamy, and I was excited to finally try it myself.

...until I tried it myself. The powders were messy, brown, and smelled like cardboard. My kitchen counter looked like the aftermath of a science project, which made sense because the smoothie tasted like a science project. I plugged my nose, forced the rest down, and sponged up the Brain Dust residue before getting ready for work.

A stale, lingering aftertaste stayed with me until later that day, when a special delivery from our assistant beauty editor arrived at my desk: a colorful selection of makeup and skincare products from Gwyneth's collaboration with Juice Beauty. Being the makeup minimalist that I am, I saved the foundations and funky lip shades for later, and played it safe with a sheer gloss.

The Naked hue instantly became my go-to. It was smooth, non-sticky, and I didn't feel like I needed a layer of lip balm underneath. Dinner was cauliflower risotto, followed by a meditation session and another in-and-out dip in the tub. Then it hit me: these goop recipes had been time-consuming to prep, but hey, I did it and they'd mostly turned out delicious, save for the "smoothie." And the baths, filth and all, were beginning to feel like a mini reward after a long day.

I started keeping pouches of seeds in my desk drawer to make tea at work. Having morning and night me-time made me feel like 140 bucks. (Actually, that's just how much the goop by Juice Beauty replenishing night cream costs.) I was catching the goop fever.

Breakfast: GP's morning smoothieLunch: Leftover soba noodle salad with grilled chickenDinner: Cauliflower and spinach risotto

I trudged through another day like I was straight out of the Walking Dead. Against my better judgment, I still went to work. I bailed on the meal plan and packed plastic snack bags of saltines instead.

Nine long hours later, I arrived home, found my candy-cane print Christmas pajama pants, and fell asleep. The sound of my iPhone jingle startled me awake. It was my doorman calling. "June's here," he said. "I don't know a June." "O.K., should I tell June to leave?" "Can you ask her why she's here?" "She says she's the nurse." Shit. There's a trendy service called a "vitamin IV infusion" that celebrities pay for that purportedly makes skin glow, provides an energy boost, eases sore muscles, and cures hangovers. And it's exactly what it sounds like (aside from complete BS): A nurse comes to your home and inserts an IV with a vitamin and antioxidant concoction into your arm, and you sit there on the couch while it drips into your bloodstream.

Well, Gwyneth does it. It sounds crazy, but as long as a a real MD is in charge, it's unlikely to cause you any harm and may make you feel a little better. Minimal sleuthing earlier in the week led me to the company she uses, The I.V. Doc. I spoke to a doctor over the phone, scheduled a home visit from a registered nurse and there I was days later.

The embarrassment of introducing myself to Nurse June in PJ bottoms and an oversized sorority t-shirt quickly subsided when I realized the next 45 minutes could be the stomach-flu miracle I'd been hoping for. "JUNE! Yes, send her up," I said before scurrying to make my bed and change the channel. (Jason Segel's nude scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall was on TV.) I heard a knock and greeted June at the door. Mary Poppins-style, she pulled an extendable IV drip out of a black bag and set it up next to the couch. "I'm squeamish with needles," I warned her before offering up every detail of my tummy woes. All smiles, June listened intently while she checked my blood pressure and hooked up the IV. "This will be good for you. This is all about hydration," she assured. "This is a bag of electrolytes and water, and I'm adding an antioxidant, and vitamins C and B12." "So you're putting a Gatorade in my arm?" She laughed, but it was a serious question.

Things were going smoothly for several minutes until all of a sudden I felt warm. Then hot. Then all of the hairs on my arms stood up. "You're looking a little flushed," June said calmly. "Look away from the IV and take a deep breath."

The feeling passed. I had a slight vasovagal reaction, she explained, which causes your heart rate and blood pressure to drop as a response to certain triggers (like blood or needles, for me). We moved on to talking about life and work, and Nurse June assured me I wasn't the only one who'd ever experienced a dizzy, light-headed feeling during the treatment. (A former Miss America contestant almost took a woozy spill recently while getting an infusion, she said, without naming names.) Whether it was the infusion or my pal June, I stopped shivering, found myself chatty and giggly, and fell asleep that night. I didn't wake up once with stomach pains. Breakfast: CrackersLunch: CrackersDinner: Crackers Als ich die letzten Stunden mit einem Abendessen von Gwyneths Lieblings-Slow-Cooked-Truthahn-Ragout und einem dreckigen Wodka-Martini probierte, fiel mir auf, dass es in der Paltrow-Gesundheitsschrift etwas Gutes gibt. Ich fühlte mich, äh, entgiftet und überhaupt nicht beraubt.

Ich fühlte mich erregt, ohne Bauchweh. Ich fühlte mich erschöpft, doch erfüllt, nachdem ich mich an eine Routine gehalten hatte. Sicher, Gwyneth Paltrow kann gelegentlich tonlos oder unempfindlich klingen. (Siehe: "Ich bin, wer ich bin. Ich kann nicht so tun, als wäre ich jemand, der $ 25.000 pro Jahr verdient.") Ihr extravagantes Wellness-Programm und der teure, tiefgründige Kochstil sind für jemanden mit einer traditionellen Vollzeitpraxis alles andere als realistisch Arbeit und Gehalt.

Ihre Praktiken sind nicht immer medizinisch gesund. Aber ich habe bereits geplant, dass die Lachsburger in der kommenden Woche eine Zugabe in meinem Dinner-Repertoire machen. Eine weitere Portion Chia Pudding gelierte im Kühlschrank. Ich war begeistert, dass mein Online-Abonnement von Tracy Anderson einen Monat dauern würde. Bevor ich die Woche angefangen habe, habe ich ein Zitat von Paltrow auf meinen Kühlschrank geschrieben: "Ich bin die ganze Zeit tapfer, Baby.

Zum Guten oder zum Schlechten." Naja, ich werde nie Gwyneth Paltrow sein, aber es geht mir gut, wenn ich nur mit einem kleinen Schwatz in mir (Baby) lebe, zum Guten oder zum Schlechten. Nehmen Sie einfach alles mit einem Körnchen Himalaya-Meersalz.